ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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