i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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