I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
