I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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