Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
