is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
