is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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