I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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