Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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