btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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