It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
