Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
