Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
