do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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