Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
