we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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