I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
