Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize