at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
