i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
