brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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