My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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