I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
