There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
