yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
