I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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