Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
