he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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