Whod you bang
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Slut skills are useful in every country.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
