Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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