Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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