If i could tip my vagina, i would.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize