Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
