Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
