Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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