so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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