Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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