Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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