she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
