pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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