So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
