I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize