She said her name was "party"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
