Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
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I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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