Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
