oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize