it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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