forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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