I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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