her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
