is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
