the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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