You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize