just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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