Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
