oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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