he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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