Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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