are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
