I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
