Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
