i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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