It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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