So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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