if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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