Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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