she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just pee around me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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