Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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