We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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