i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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