he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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