Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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